A bio page that sounds like I didn't write it, but I totally did

- Michael Paul Kohn



Michael Paul Kohn is a stand-up comic from Phoenix, Arizona. At first glance, he may appear to smell of corn dogs. But rest assured, he is 100% showered, all the time. Michael first graced the stage in 2013 with his confusing combination of husky-yet-trim, smart-but-stupid. He is quite the nice guy, but he will never ever help you move or drive you to the airport. Although he is in the beginning years of his thirties, he has been described as looking "at least 40". In his spare time, which is all the time, MPK likes to craft intricate pieces of modern art out of fast food. It is an ever-expanding gallery entitled "Kohn Admires Art", and contains such pieces as, "Halloween masks made of Arby's" and "Wind chimes made of Panda Express". Michael has been on the Big Pine and Bird City comedy festivals. He has been runner-up in a few comedy contests, just like he has been runner-up for most things he has ever tried.